What I am talking about is calling out our friends on their rubbish. I’m not talking about speaking up in defence of our friend when they’re insulted or being threatened, because that’s obvious. They’re called friends (family and spouse can fulfil this role as well in addition to our friends). Sometimes, we need help carrying that burden, and God has put certain people in our lives precisely for that purpose. If we want to be trustworthy, we have to show we are trustworthy. Of course, not every person is trustworthy, but if we want to be trustworthy toward other people we have to be willing to sacrifice our desires to meet the needs of our friends-to step out of our comfort zone in order to help them carry their burdens. For my entire adulthood thus far, I’ve done everything by myself, but I can’t do everything by myself I have to learn to trust people. It can be scary at times.ĭue to certain traumatic experiences of rejection and abandonment in my life, I have a difficult time being (appropriately) vulnerable with others. If you’re going to be in a relationship with someone-whether romantic or a platonic friendship-you have to be vulnerable. What do we men do when our friends are in need, whether they’re men or women? Do we stay in the shadows and do nothing, or do we sacrifice our comfort zone and reach out to them to help them carry their burdens? There is vulnerability in every relationship. Instead, he chose to accompany Frodo and embark on the dangerous journey to destroy the ring. He could have easily chosen to stay behind in the relatively safe confines of Rivendell. What did Sam do? Sam also sacrificed comfort and safety in order to help Sam carry this heavy burden. He counted himself as nothing in order to give the world everything-their very lives. Frodo sacrificed comfort and safety by taking the burden of destroying the evil ring. Our greatest need was to be saved from condemnation, and Jesus performed the greatest sacrifice for that need even though we don’t deserve it. Instead, counting others as more significant than ourselves is to sacrifice our desires for their needs rather than our needs for their desires. To count others more significant than ourselves is not to ignore our necessary needs such as food, water, and sleep. Everything Jesus did was never out of an ulterior motive, but in His humility He became nothing for us so that we might be reconciled to God. “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” ( Philippians 2:3). One of the marks of being a true friend is the willingness to sacrifice. Biblical masculinity covers a variety of other subjects, but for the purpose of Sam and Frodo as our examples, I will be discussing the aforementioned attributes. True masculinity is a godly man who is willing to make sacrifices, speaks up for the benefit of his friend, perseveres in the midst of troubles throughout the friendship, and is not afraid to show his love for his friend. That is the false masculinity our society has created. Women can certainly relate to what I’m going to discuss in their own same-sex friendships, and men can also use this friendship towards women friends and vice versa but with more caution, but just keep in mind that I’ll be specifically talking about masculine friendships.īy “masculine” I do not mean hairy men who grow bushy beards and belittle those who cannot grow them, wrestle each other to show their domination to the opposite sex and over each other, yell at sports while drinking beer, and hide all their emotions. Since I am a man, and Sam and Frodo are men, I will be focusing specifically on friendship between men rather than women. Is this really a secret homosexual relationship, or is it something deeper in which they exemplify true masculine friendship? I argue that the friendship Sam and Frodo portray is one in which a true masculine friendship is one where the men carry each other’s burdens and are unafraid to show their love for one another. In our society, it is not acceptable that two men are so close that they cry in each other’s arms, kiss the other on the head in a non-sexual manner, and carry the other up to Mount Doom to destroy evil-taking the other’s burdens upon himself. Certainly two male friends cannot have an intimate relationship without being gay! (sarcasm) In a society that highly sexualises everything, this “theory” is not surprising. Because they are so intimately close, they surmise, this must mean they’re gay. I’ve heard and read asinine theories that Sam and Frodo are gay. As a theological writer, I could easily write about LOTR’s allegory of the worldly struggle with darkness and connect it to sin, but I’m going to focus on something else that’s never discussed: Sam and Frodo’s friendship. I love The Lord of the Rings. It is an epic tale of struggle through darkness, both personal and military struggles.
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